When you say good bye
Because we are all part of the cosmic soup we should not feel sad when we say good bye. Why then do I feel sad today? If you consider that the world is conspiring to make me and you a better person then saying good bye should be easy. Because we stay connected and there’s aways a lesson.
But….
During the last week we were in Mauritius for my birthday. My lovely wife Elmarie, my beautiful daughter Nandi and one of her friends Alister, had the best times, ever, at the Club Med Hotel.
The hotel staff (Gentle Officers or GOs) treated us (Gentle Members) like kings and queens. And we became intensely involved with them. They are a great bunch of people. They work from sun up and party till sun up. They do what they do well because they truly love the Gentle Members. But I think it’s a lot easier to love people who want to be loved…. and we are suckers for love. The more we gave the more we got back. And then we had to say good bye to our new friends.
Say good buy to people you know for only seven days should not be difficult. But we left knowing that we may never meet again (in this world at least) but why do we feel the emptiness?
Why the feeling of loss?
Then I had a double whammy. My daughter will attend university in Cape Town (two hours away -by plane) and she and my wife left, today, to set her up in the coming week. Now if you think it was difficult to say good bye to my friends at Club Met then I must confess.
I never expected to feel as sad as I do. Even though I will see her often and speak to her often I know that she is taking one of the most visible steps in becoming independent. Why then do I feel sad today?
Because I have enough reason. I will feel stronger very soon but at the moment I am touching LOVE! What an excuse………
Johan said,
January 30, 2007 at 9:46 am
After the post above I got an amazing email from Paul. When my daughter read his response she said that I am privileged to have met someone who knows the pain on the other side and who has a daughter that will also say goodbye. We also know that it’s the wisdom hiding in he’s comments that are truly remarkable…..
Hi Johan,
I worked at the Pura Vida yoga resort in Costa Rica for 7 months in 2000. After my first week there I was saying goodbye to my best friends; the loves of my life – all while the next week’s guests were arriving. I looked at the new guests as interlopers. Who were these strangers interfering while we said our tearful goodbyes? I certainly could never love them as much as I loved the people I was saying goodbye to …. could I?
The answer is that I could and did – week after week – group after group. I must say it took some getting used to. But then it got kind of predictable (but no less intense) in its ebb and flow: meet, get to know each other, bond, fall in love, say goodbye, experience a sweet, sad, semi-joyful sense of grief, let go, move on, say hello to the next group.
Whew! What a drill. What an exercise. What a roller coaster.
My soon to be 18 year old daughter Madison will be heading off to
university in Sept.!
Love, Light and Abundance,
Paul
taytie said,
February 15, 2007 at 1:34 am
I found out recently my lover has been diagnosed with ALS — Lou Gehrig’s disease. Now, everytime I am with him I feel as though it will be for the last time. Inside I am saying goodbye all the time. But why can’t I live and enjoy my time with him as the great gift that it is instead of constantly readying myself for his final goodbye? After all, he may live for another 10-20
years and I may die tomorrow. But when I am with him I can’t help but think of not having him with me. I’m not sure how to stop myself from feeling sad and morbid.
Johan Horak said,
February 15, 2007 at 9:02 am
Taytie what you are going through is not easy. I am not sure if you watched the movie on this blog about The Law Of Love. Please watch it. When you get up in the morning watch it.
But before you watch it in the morning: When you get out of bed say thank you for everything you have. Try and do it for 5 minutes or longer. Just ramble along. And while you ramble along saying “thank you” keep on smiling even if you have to force a smile.
And then please dominate your mind with love thoughts. But to dominate your mind with love thoughts you need to be aware of your feelings. When you are sad and morbid you are unfortunately not keeping positive thoughts. Take note of your feelings. And take your mind to a place where you feel love. Please create this place of love or go back in your mind to a place where/when you experience joy and love. Stay at this special place of joy and love (in your mind) as long as you can.
I love you, I love your friend. And people who read this blog are the type of people who also love both of you.
Johan
sarah said,
April 29, 2007 at 7:13 pm
i watched a movie recently about having to say goofbye and the answer is simple really “Never say goodbye because it ruins the chances of meeting again” and i think that what we all want in life. Is just to meet the people we’ve lost once again.
Johan Horak said,
April 30, 2007 at 8:59 am
Hi Sara
This makes a lot sense. What movie did you watch as I think other people may want to watch it.
Thanks for sharing..
Johan